and her beautiful mess.

Facts about MY Long Distance Relationship

Sunday, 21 September 2014
This is me and boyfie: Fatty .

People usually wish me " stay sweet with your boyfie " " You both look perfect " " Best wishes for you both " and I do appreciate. I know the situation very clear. Long distance relationship is hard to maintain. You will face a lot of hardships and challenges. Its bitter sweet and it depends on how you and your partner deal with tolerance and wisdom. This relies on two parties working together for a last-long-perfect-relationship. 

I feel stuck sometimes. Honestly, I feel jealous looking at friends' dating pictures, hugging and kissing like honeybee. Especially during some special occasions like Valentine's day, You will be the only one left alone but actually you are in a relationship.
Okay fine, I don't really care about these celebrations but just a mixed feeling of why why and why

P/S : We don't celebrate anniversary because we were being together in natural way. So we don't have an anniversary date. Sounds weird, right?*maybe* Haha!

Facts about MY Long Distance Relationship

1. You can't turn into him whenever you need a shoulder. You have to face the problems, the depression, the annoyance and whatever shitty situation alone without the real him beside you. The most they can give to you is words, words and words. Even when you are a poor sick cat swallowing bottles of panadol, wrapping yourself in the blanket like a big sausage... Still, you have to get well on your own. No one is gonna put his palm on your forehead testing for the temperature and cook you bowl of porridge with a face of anxiety.

2. Same thing happen when you have something super duper excited to share with him. Eg, Your 1st ever singing performance on a big stage, You got a free ice cream, Finally done with all your stupid projects or assignment, Your birthday, You strike up a conversation with a handsome... Still, all excitement have to be converted in word version. 

3. We date in special waysVideo call is the only way that makes you feel a step closer to him across ocean and miles. You skype, You wechat, You whatsapp, You facebook and You spend a large amount of money just want to make a-few-seconds-phone-call.

4. No wifi = You lost connection with him. You become an Internet addict.

5. Calendar is important for you. You circle on the date and counting down the days you can get back into his arms like a small kid. You wish time flies. You wish everything could be fast forward.

6. Time zone problem. I am currently taking Dentistry 3rd year at University of Malaya. My timetable usually starts at 8am in the morning and ends at 6pm everyday. He is taking Film Directing 2nd year at NTUA, Taiwan. He studies in the morning like how I do. The only thing is he is working at the same time and he works throughout the midnight. Getting busier is a fact no matter how unwilling you are. You gonna accept the fact.

7. Arguments. Couples who don't fight are less perfect. I agree. We both used to ONLY leave-message for each other and that situation lasts for almost one month plus. The moment I left him a message is the moment he was busy or vice versa. The situation can be even worse if both of us don't tolerate. Cold war happens if you don't know how to manage properly. You may fight but you must know that you just wish to have more time spending together.

8. Of course, best thing happens too! You get to travel to his place. It's like a mini vacation after chains of long-time-no-see. You get to know his friends, the new culture and some other unexpected language/ dialects, You make new friends and you are now a half-pro knowing more or less about his current country. That's fun, seriously!

9. Unleash your romance. I write letters. I do handmade cards and gifts for him. It's just another way to express your love to him since you both are miles away. LDR may be the best excuse for suprising him in your own creative ways.

10. You have more private space. Seriously, I don't like to stick up for my boyfriend like I'm a stick plant. I seldom do. In LDR, I learn to do many things on my own rather than relying on him. I learn to be independent.

11. You don't need to be presentable all the time. I don't like dressing up like a doll everyday. I am a super lazy bun. T-shirts and short pants will always be my favorite coordination. Dating in which outfits may make me headache. He knows it. =P  I could be 1 hour late for our dating just because I was in dilemma picking up the best. When he is not around, I will just wandering around in my typical "aunty" look. But I am comfortable with. HAHAHAHA!

12. Love is more than physical. We both work on mental and emotional dimension. Of course, because we don't hug, don't kiss, don't cuddle but only talking. It's like only CONVERSATION with some sugary words. But for sure, you may get tiring in this mode sometimes. I swear I did and I fed up and feel like quitting once. The only thing we both make it succeed until now is Both of us are equally committed. =)

13. Work on trust. You will be more loyal and trustworthy if you love your another half. You know, you will be facing a lot of loneliness-challenges until you couldn't stand with anymore and wish to find someone new and fresh to replace the empty seat in your heart. Okayyy! Make it short and clear : You wish to find a new boyfie. Physically you just need it... However, I was thinking how my boyfie feels actually at the same time. Where he has his dinner? Who is the girl who had just tagged him in the picture? Who is the another accompanying him during lunch break?... I made a lot of second-guessing because I am not around and what I can do to make me feel better is only Trust him!

14. You plan better. Trust me, you will be better and wiser in making plans. Planning for the next meeting-up during semester breaks ( short term or long term meeting up) like how to make perfect date for both party since both are having different holidays. Think an inch deeper, you know both of you are working hard for a better future. You will be getting mature instead of arguing of what to have for dinner, what to wear for today's date, where to date and bla bla bla...  You get me, right? You will be more understanding and be able to stand in his shoes. That's the best personality to be developed throughout LDR.

15. LDR experiments your right choice. He will still be the right person even you are thousand miles away from him. You gonna find a rock, a wall, a shield that you can lean against whenever you feel weak. LDR proves distance is a small matter if the love is true.

I don't know how long and how far we can maintain our LDR. But at least, so far, we have been through almost 24 months LONG DISTANCE since we graduated from the same secondary school. =) I should be grateful I have such a unique and memorable youth love.

Science says Distance makes the heart grows fonder.

Shin Hailey

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